I read a eulogy for Jack during his small service at our church on April 6th. This was the day we planned to bring him home. It was hard to write and even harder to read, but I’m so happy I was able to do that for my son on his day. Several people have asked for a copy, and I thought I would share it on the blog. I want anyone who cares to listen to know about this sweet baby boy of mine.
For our son, my sweetest little Jack Jack,
It is still hard to believe at times that you aren’t here. We grew to know each other so well in the time that we shared together, and every now and then I can still feel your little kicks. It makes me forget for a moment. Then the moment passes, and I remember it all.
When you were born, you shared the same hands and perfect little button nose with your big brother. He told you he loved you every single day as we prepared for your arrival, and he misses you so much now. Your Daddy and I miss you so much. Aspen misses you too. I’ll cherish the memories the five of us made together always, and especially how much you and your brother loved storytime all snuggled up together at night.
Over the last few months, I thought so much about the way things would be with you in our lives. I pictured you running around in our yard with your brother and up to no good. I pictured you on the soccer field in high school with shaggy blonde hair looking just like your Daddy. I pictured you coming home from college and wrapping me up in your arms. You had the biggest grin and your spirit was sweet and lighthearted. Just the happiest little soul.
I wish I could say that I didn’t picture this, but that wouldn’t be true. I pictured exactly this. I shook the unbearable thought from my mind and just knew that if something ever happened to you, I would never be ok; but you taught me that I was wrong.
I knew that holding you would be so hard because there would never be enough time. There would never be enough time if you were here with us now. I expected to feel the deepest of sorrows, but what caught me off guard was how you also filled me up with hope as I studied your sweet face. I was overwhelmed with gratitude when I held you in my arms, and you brought to light all the beauty and goodness in the world around us. Your time on Earth has strengthened my faith, and I will never be the same. You will always be my best friend baby Jack. You and your brother and your Daddy will always be my best friends. I love you forever, and our little family will forever be ok because you lived.
With all my love,